Random thought

When buying timeshare property in Jamaica, make sure it is NOT Jamaica Iowa.

Random thought

If I was Bob, I'd have Spud melt Lofty down as a warning to the others to stop screwing around.

Random thought

Important food safety tip. Do not buy bulk shellfish from the back of an old pickup, in the middle of Nebraska.

Random thought

Do NOT use $700 iPad 2 to smash big scary spider.

Random thought

A shot rang out, the wife bolted into the living room. The TV was sizzling and I was holding a smoking gun. Screaming, she asked why I shot the TV. I told her Caddyshack 2 was on....She said "Oh OK"

Random thought

Having a chainsaw fetish is painful and requires commitment and determination.

I like Pop Tarts

Random thought

Yay!!!! My copy of "Drunken Idiot Magazine" came today!!!! They're having a special article on politicians this month.